A Peak Into My Crazy

Are you more fearful or courageous as you age? 

Be careful. Don’t answer too quickly. It may lead you into uncomfortable territory. 

I turn 50 in a month and I’m asking myself that question. I turn it around and around. I try to ignore the truth but I refuse to lie to myself or to you. My buddy Fear and I are pretty constant companions lately. I wish I could say we weren’t so well acquainted. I wish I could say I was the hero-save-the-world-kind-of-person. 

Nope. 

It’s just me and Fear getting cozy. And God. 

Having faith that I am not alone in this messy life reassures my crazy self. I pray. And pray some more. I know that God has caught me more times than I can count as I have taken leaps into the unknown, my heart beating out of my chest and my friend Fear hanging on for dear life. 

But what I can’t quite figure out is how to kick Fear to the curb. How do I put it in the rear view mirror as I step into this next decade? 

Any ideas? 

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